I forgave my father a few years ago. It was not because everything was healed. It was because I was ready to stop carrying what no longer served me. That act of forgiveness was simple, not easy. Quiet, not dramatic. It came like a clearing out an old room: memory by memory, releasing the weight.
Now he is gone and I am writing his eulogy.
I don’t want to over-explain, romanticize, or rewrite.
I want to say what matters-and leave the rest in peace.
A SIMPLE TRUTH: PEOPLE ARE NOT JUST ONE THING
~ Minimalism taught me the beauty of holding only what has meaning. As I write about my father, I let go of the need to paint him as a hero or villain. He was neither. He was just a man who was a complicated and a flawed human. He gave what he could and withheld what he couldn’t give.
~ Forgiveness helped me make peace with that.
~ Now I want his eulogy to show that same clarity.
WORDS THAT FIT THE SHAPE OF THE LIFE
~ When you’ve stripped away the bitterness, you see more clearly. You notice the quiet generosity. You remember the familiar laugh. You recall the times he tried. Writing simply forces honesty. Every word becomes intentional. There’s no need to say everything-just whats true.
mINIMALIST WRITING, LIKE MINIMALIST LIVING, VALUES ESSENCE OVER EXCESS ~ unknown
In crafting the eulogy, I chose what to carry ahead:
~ Memories of his calling to tell me about the epic baseball game. We would discuss history. His childhood stories were something I never got enough of.
~ The way he told me I was smart, funny, and empathetic.
~ He told me I needed to let go of the weight of others. I should remember I was just as important as anyone else.
I left out the anger. The confusion. The expectations that he never met. Not because they didn’t exist, but because I no longer needed to hold them.
HONORING WITHOUT DECORATING
~ This eulogy won’t be filled with metaphor’s or stretched truths.
~ It will be , clean , honest, enough.
I will say: he was my father. We had our distance and found our way back, quietly. I loved him. I forgive him. I remember him with peace.
FINAL THOUGHTS
~ Writing his eulogy after years of forgiveness felt like finishing a gentle edit to a story already accepted.
~ Minimalism gave me the space to say what matters.
~ Forgiveness gave me the heart to say it with love.
you don’t need to tell the whole story to honor someone. Just tell the part that is yours to tell-and mean it ~making of a minimalist
Making of a Minimalist 